Levels of awareness…
Today, while riding my bike, I was observing all my levels of awareness that, due to the presence that comes with exercising, I was able to experience as separate, observable entities, and found it to be so fascinating that I decided it was worthy of a blog.
Thank goodness I have developed awareness & skills with which to organise them, I can definitely see how we can cause ourselves all sorts of stress issues like anxiety and fear without the use of mindfulness, and the ability to access the pre-frontal cortex on demand to assist with rationalising the things that flow through our inner worlds in any given moment!
Ok so at the bike track it was overcast and mild, there was pretty much just me riding initially, I saw another person preparing their bike to ride when going around on my first lap. There were only a few cars parked in the carpark and majority of those were vans, a couple of them had a person sitting inside the drivers seat. It’s surrounding a sports field which was empty, but there was also a van parked near the clubhouse building, I couldn’t see a person near that van.
My predominant level of awareness was being conscious of pedalling, I was focussing on my breathing because I had no other choice but to make sure I was getting enough air, I had headphones on with some house music playing. This is a brilliant recipe for presence. It’s a lot easier to keep focussed on ‘what is’ under these conditions.
On another level of awareness I was enjoying epiphanies and inspirations about things I’ve read lately, sessions with clients, ideas for my business & life in general with my family. Epiphanies are different from thought. They are of a particular clarity that can be felt in the body in an empowering, positive way. Some say epiphanies are the thoughts of the source moving through us. Sometimes we’re experiencing them for the first time, sometimes they’ve dropped through a few times and we’re experiencing them with even greater clarity, having had further experiences to assist our understanding of them.
On another level of awareness, various memories were popping up, and thoughts about future events I have planned in the next short period of time. I was aware of the things I needed to get done during this day, following my bike ride.
On even another level awareness, every van was a potential kidnapper, serial killer or murderer of some sort. The one on the field near the clubhouse was planning a bombing. There were a few different ways I was going to be abducted & what was going to happen to me once abducted. There was the way in which it would be discovered that I was missing and the ensuing news headlines and story’s!
There was the amusement at my incredible imagination on yet another level. And finally there was the “but what if you’re right?” level of awareness, which brought the potential story’s all the way around again.
Meanwhile I’m just riding my bike, breathing and listening to house music. It’s mild and overcast, & good people are around doing their thing. There is no threat, and all is actually well.
I noticed that I couldn’t just dismiss the wonderfully scary story I had going in my mind with humour alone, nor be angry at, or judge myself for creating such unhelpful nonsense, because it just kept bringing it back around. And despite the extra ease of presence due to exercising I noticed it still created a rising level of stress response in my body.
So as I pedalled I decided to enquire within as to whether or not such a line of thinking was helpful, what the purpose of it may be, if there was one, and if there was, whether or not I could create a better way of achieving that purpose.
The answer to whether or not it was helpful was a resounding ‘no’.
The purpose was in fact to keep me safe. Which was interesting, as there was no ACTUAL threat, and once I was clear of this purpose I was then able to clarify by observing a few obvious things about the scene. I then held this level of awareness in a kind of appreciation. Appreciation for what it was trying to achieve, and appreciation for the creative prowess in which it procured the story. Then I was back to being mindful about breathing and pedalling, and the building stress response dissipated as clarity rose.
Now, I have to admit there is a certain amount of vulnerability for me in sharing this story. When I began my journey of consciousness and practicing mindfulness I, at times, wondered if I had a mental illness or at least that there’s something wrong with me for having thoughts like this, as this kind of story often runs for me at this particular level of awareness. I am also aware it has run for most of my life (I can remember thinking about the headlines of my murder when I was a teenager)!
Nowadays though I have talked to other people who have admitted to having similar thoughts. I have also devoted the second half of my life to understanding and applying mindfulness practices, as well as understanding how the subconscious works in order to sort myself out and assist other people to master their own levels of awareness.
First of all it helps to understand that the subconscious is exactly like a hard drive on a computer. It stores our experiences impartially, and this includes even just things that we have, heard, seen or read etc. It will also play these things out to their end, particularly if we have a powerful curiosity or vivid imagination (most of us do). So things we might hear in the news, watch in movies or read in books, where we are introduced to a concept that we ourselves would never consider partaking in, our subconscious is absorbing it, bouncing it off other things already in there that are similar in nature, and playing it out. It’s one thing for the subconscious to do this, and quite another to tune in or buy into it. When we buy into it, that is definitely when we start experiencing symptoms of anxiety. But even when we are aware of it without buying into it, sometimes it can still create a stress response. Perhaps not enough to create full blown anxiety, but enough to have a flow on effect that may potentially impact our effectiveness in other ways.
Second of all it helps to understand that this does not define who we are, or our reality in way, shape or form. It does not mean there is anything “wrong”. It means we have a normal, healthy & creative subconscious. The trick is to notice it, accept it as part of the natural mechanism, and most importantly, be gentle with it using mindfulness and presence.
One of the best ways I have heard it described was to think of it as being like a puppy. Being too hard on the puppy is fruitless, as the puppy often doesn’t get it, and we end up getting stressed out. But being aware that a puppy, after all, is a puppy, and will therefore do puppy things, helps to bring more patience and understanding. And that the puppy just needs to be shown, to be guided in more a productive way.
To this end, another powerful way of assisting is through creative expression. For me this means channeling my energy into developing things for my business, pushing myself a little out of comfort zones, and for fun I really enjoy expressing myself through writing poetry and hip hop rhymes! I have discovered that when I make time to do this in particular it does bring a more profound sense of relief beyond anything else. And clients I have worked with in this way also say the same.
If you would like to know more about my creativity therapy, healing or hypnotherapy sessions please contact me through my website www.fifthelementtherapies.com.au.
